Geri Halliwell has sensationally quit the smash hit super group The Spicegirls. Geri, 42, has so far been unavailable for comment although an insider has said that she's an exhausted and washed-out has-been, and can no longer cope with living with the other girls.
The Spicegirls, pictured here leaving their council house without Geri, briefly commented by saying, "She didn't have any talent anyway, but she's left - taking our only brain cell with her".
Rumours were flying in thick and fast that Geri had a problem with her stomach, but her neighbour, Chris Evans, said last night, "no, it's always been that size. I hear them fighting all the time, nothing serious, like every family does."
It's not the first time The Spicegirls have hit a patch of trouble, their movie 'Spiceworld' flopped at the box office. Critics slammed the film as movie-goers could not distinguish between Geri and the Spicebus. Eventually they concluded that one was large, noisy and smelly, and picked up people from bus stops, whereas the bus has four wheels and a driver. Ticket sales were low, with only 53 seats taken on the opening night. 41 of them thought it was a cookery program and the remaining 12 only came in because it was raining outside. One little 5 year old girl said, "It wasn't bad, I especially liked the bit where Sporty Spice is driving Geri".
Geri Stella Halliwell first hit the limelight stroking prizes on a Turkish game show before moving into the porn industry, appearing nude in splat mags. Back then her tits were at least 2 sizes smaller, and her face wasn't quite as puffy as it is now. She then beat 400 other untalented hopefuls to become one of the Spicegirls where she could ride on the backs of other people's work.
The self confessed lesbian appeared on a US TV chat show today, telling of arguments between the girls. "I wanted to be the one to cook breakfast yesterday, but Sporty had already started it. We argued for a while until the eggs fell on the floor. Baby Spice started to cry - I yelled to Victoria to sort out the kid but she was too busy looking into the mirror that Scary had stapled to her tongue. I just said 'Oh fuck this - I'm off', and then I walked out."
It's now believed that the Child Support Agency will be chasing her until Emma turns 16. A CSA spokes person said "We will be treating Ms Halliwell like any other absent parent."